The first three days suck- My struggle to get over work out embarrassment.

I am officially over 6 months out after having a baby. Everyone told me to rest, and enjoy him and I KNEW the day would come where I have pounds to shed. Now don't get me wrong, I gained a LOT less weight during pregnancy then most people. In fact, I was underweight for my height through most of it and was being practically force fed ice cream, cheese, bacon, and eggs most of my 2nd and 3rd trimester. I breastfed for about 2 months, and often either didn't have time or forgot to eat. The weight unfortunately came later. When I had time to relax and breathe, cook, and stopped breastfeeding (due to my son's medical/developmental issue). 

I wont lie, I hate working out. In all honesty though, it's not out of laziness. I am just always finding something that needs to be done in the house. The housework never ends, and it took a LOT of convincing myself that the laundry can wait 40 minutes while I go run. What is worse, is the total embarrassment and awkwardness that comes from stepping into a gym or fitness class when you are TOTALLY out of shape. The pain/soreness, motivation, are to me easier to deal with then the thought of someone else looking at me while I face plant during Pilate's or cant get through the last 5 sit ups, or worse take a break after 10 minutes on the treadmill. So, headphones in hand I got to work at home. After 30 sit ups and 15 minutes of Pilate's some of my muscles (well a LOT of them) are on fire. I'm proud of my self. Then the shame and sadness come later.. only 15 minutes. I spend double that time to watch an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and well, that hurts my ego... a lot. I may be out of shape now, but I hope to be better in a month or so. No matter how insignificant it seems to others, for me it's a start.. a start I am happy with. Not due to the length of time I worked out, but due to the fact that my back, ass, stomach, and legs ache. I can do this, I WILL do this, because I am a woman, not an awkward overweight girl, but a woman. Let us break that down. Fe= Iron Male= man. I am Iron Man bitches, and this is for me. 

It's slow going, especially since some days I'm not sure where to start, but I will do it.