With Thanksgiving behind us after today, MANY people are starting to get nervous. Let's be honest, everyone is broke. With a big huge meal that we just paid for, and only about 30 days until Christmas, what are we to do? We have a big meal, a HUGE decorating obligation for us ladies, and of course, gifts.
I am convinced that most of the family dysfunction we all know and love during the holidays is caused by stress. We have presents to buy and wrap, dinners to pay for and cook, houses and trees to decorate, and (most likely) kids and husbands who go behind us and make HUGE messes. I have studied, and dug, and organized over and over in my head how to pull off a large Christmas by myself. It's kind of like a dream of mine. To be able to have all of my family in one place and cook everything and have a beautiful spread and an even more beautiful tree. There are a few problems with this though. 1.) We are a military family. Not just a military family, but a Navy family, and I can safely say we move more then ANYBODY. Plus, we ALWAYS will move around Christmas because of when my husband enlisted. 2.) Unless your family rakes in about $300,000 or more a year, nobody can pull this off anymore. Like I said, everyone is broke. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but we need to re-prioritize. So, noticing my dream was not within reach for quite some time, I have pulled together some tips. Some things that my family has changed in our traditions to re-distribute the high cost of a nice holiday, and the immense stress that comes with it. Read, and enjoy.
1.)The "hostess with the most est" is a thing of the past: Holidays will not be perfect. I don't think they ever have been to be honest. I think our parent's just drank their way through the holidays and never said anything to us as kids about how awful the whole process is. Either open up your home and allow guests to make themselves at home with drinks, or arrange a table with drinks and snacks so they can serve themselves and you don't have to run back and forth. This is NOT rude. It actually makes people feel MORE comfortable in your home, and gives you time to socialize and not look crazy and frazzled with your hair falling out of it's perfect bun that you spent and hour on.
2.)Divide the cooking: Gasp! Really? Before you cry blasphemy hear me out. Remember when your crazy uncle used to be in charge of bringing pie? This isn't much different. Either potluck (which is a great idea if you have a LARGE gathering), or do half and half with someone close to you (like if your family and your BFF's family join forces). This is IMPORTANT. It divides up the cooking, stress, and cost. Look at it this way, not only do you have less stress and financial burden, so do the people who are also bringing food, and there will be more then enough to go around. Plus, this makes for great conversation starters. You get a variety of food traditions that everyone can share.
3.)Enlist your children to help: I would say your husband too, but it's probably best not to, unless they do the meat. Not that men can't cook, but you are more likely to get frazzled if they decide to do something in a way you wouldn't. Kids are easy, and eager to get to help. Assign children age appropriate simple tasks. 5-6 wipe the table, pick up toys and trash, put on napkin rings. 7-8 wash and peel potatoes, set the table. 9-10 vacuum, shake out rugs, dust, set out snacks, ect. 11 and up you can pretty much guide them through most things. Make your kids help. They enjoy it (anyone remember hovering in the kitchen begging to help cook and whatnot?) This also prepares them to one day have their own family and take over your traditions, keeps them occupied and out of trouble, and helps you out.
4.)Don't start too many projects: Yes, that home made tree skirt looks fabulous, and you would love to MAKE all of the ornaments on your tree, but don't do too much. If you are a DIY-er, you already know projects don't always come out right. You also know they can be very time consuming and expensive. Sometimes you need to suck it up, and buy those glass bulbs at Walmart for $4 and take a trip to the Dollar Tree's holiday section for single ornaments. Pick a few key DIY projects, take your time, and get them done right.
5.)Skip Black Friday: Yes, I DID just say skip black Friday. The key to getting inexpensive gifts and stick to your budget is NOT bludgeoning someone with a coffee pot. Make a list of everyone you are buying for, and what they are getting. STICK TO THAT LIST! Buy a newspaper every Sunday, and watch the sales. This is not where store loyalty takes a priority. Look at everyone. As good as the Black Friday deals seem, they aren't. They are based on a few key items that stores know you are going to fight over, possibly not be able to get, and make impulse buys on sale items not even on your list. Check out Cyber Monday too, you are less likely to buy things you don't need when you see the price total in your online shopping cart. Make a plan to divide your shopping list up, and hold out for a sale.
6.) Re-evaluate gift giving practices: I'm not sure how many times I have said EVERYONE is broke. Well, we are. This is a time to suck it up, be adults, and realize that we don't NEED a gift from everyone (or anyone). Maxing out credit cards and making payment arrangements on bills to buy gifts is plain irresponsible. Change up your gift giving. Have a group chat with the people who are spending the holiday with you, and decide what works best for your group. Try secret Santa. It is a fun (and potentially creative) way to give gifts. Then you can focus on giving that person one good gift, instead of buying everyone you know a pair of pajamas and bargain bin books. Another idea is deciding in the group to be grown ups and (gasp) only buying for the kids and your spouse.
7.) Christmas trees: If you are not spending the holiday at your own home, and do not have children over 2, or a tree yet, skip it. If you are just now buying a tree, decide how you want to spend your money in advance. You can pay up front $100-$200 for a good fake tree you can use over and over, or about $30 for a real tree. It depends on your own financial planning, but take both into consideration. If you have small pets and small children, or are forgetful (not making sure the tree has water combined with leaving the lights on is a fire waiting to happen) you may want a fake one.
Overall folks, lets remember what this holiday is about, (enter religious beliefs here), family, love, fun. Laugh at yourself if your turkey comes out dry or burned on top. Laugh at yourself if it looks like a 5 year old wrapped the gifts you wrapped. Drink, chat, dance, have fun. Enjoy your company. Indulge your elders in their war stories. Let your kids make a mess with the wrapping paper. Secretly stick Christmas bows to people. You will look back and remember your company, and the fun you had. Chances are unless you are given diamonds from your husband, or something VERY sentimental, you wont remember the gifts at all in 15 years.
