What is wrong with parenting these days? I have mulled this over time and time again. Children are not driven, grown children are in debt, some have no work ethic, and most are disrespectful. No bedtimes, no family meals. Routine was normal growing up. Sometimes, I feel as If I am not part of my generation, but rather should have been born in a time where I would be the same adult I am now in the 1950's. Let me elaborate.
> My husband comes from a lower middle class family, and I grew up pretty poor. We both came out of our lives well educated, respectful, hard working, and have an appreciation for just having food on the table
> As poor as I was growing up, and my mother being a single parent, we ALWAYS had healthy food in the house. She never thought for a second that it was "cheaper" to buy pre-packaged food chock-full of preservatives, sugar, fat, and chemicals. We all were responsible for picking out a small list of foods (that she gave us) at the grocery store, so that we knew what healthy eating looked like. She spent hours at night washing and cutting vegetables, fruits, and packaging little containers of granola and sliced cheese and anything else we could grab and eat when we got home- without gobbling sweets. We got desert every night, but most nights it was healthy (sliced apples with honey, yogurt and fruit frozen into bars, ect.). We rarely were able to afford take-out, so ONCE every two weeks we were allowed pizza and ONE soda while we watched a movie at home.
> We got our vaccines. Period. My mom was educated.. very educated. It was never a question. If she could protect us from ANYTHING she was going to- especially serious disease Like Hepatitis or Polio.
> When my brother was little, they told my mom he had ADHD. She spent countless hours reading, researching, and teaching my brother how to manage it. She fought with teachers to let him excel, and fought with him when he wasn't honestly trying. He is going to be 30 in February, he served his country for 7 years and advanced quickly. He is now in medical school, and is an honor's student, with a 3.9 GPA. He was never allowed to slack off regularly (we all got 2 stay home free days once a year and not on test days). He never had medication thrown at him.
> We all ate together, every night. Even when we stayed over at a friend's house, dinner came first. It was the last shred of normal my mom was able to hold on to.
> If we didn't eat it, we didn't eat. I guess this rule was in place for generations. Starting with my great grandparents. We were never served up anything that wasn't appetizing. My mom never made multiple meals. If there were peas on the menu that night, you had to try them. If you didn't like them.. well you were out part of your dinner.
> We were taught manners, and there was NEVER room for defiance. How my mother did it, I will never know. She never hit us... ever. All she had to do was LOOK at you. You were not allowed to walk out of a door and not hold it for the person behind you. You were to ask an elderly, or pregnant individual if they needed help loading their groceries. You didnt burp, fart, or make noises resembling such things. You didnt leave the table without permission. The list goes on.
> You were NEVER handed money. With very few exceptions (for school, to buy SOMEONE ELSE something, ect.) You worked for money. This "work" had to be outside the realm of normal chores we were expected to do. I picked weeds in the front yard for close to an hour one summer, so I could take some money to the $1 store and buy candy.
> My mother made sure she was there. period. My mother, although with her faults, was wonderful at this. Working full time as a single mother, she made track meets and plays for my brother. Girl scout meetings, plays, debates, and concerts... the list goes on. She made it work, so we always knew she would be there for us.
> we were tossed outside when we were being lazy. The videogames and TV would go off, or they were taken away. We could play outside, read, draw, play inside... but it could not be electronic. My etch-a-sketch was well worn, as were my books.
> We were expected of. Decent grades- A's and B's earned treats. C's were fine. D and below, you had some things to explain. We had chores- dishes, bed making, anything age appropriate.
These all seem to be themes I can't find any more. I am leading a very old fashioned life, that would have been perfectly wonderful in the 1950's. Married my high school sweetheart (who joined the Navy). Got married after High School and Boot Camp, had a baby AFTER we were married, I'm in nursing school, we respect each other, and my child (who is almost 2) already has activities, knows respect and property value, a bed time, and will eat anything. The educational Early Childhood shows are limited. People think I am lying when I tell them he will sit and look at books, or play on his own for hours, or when I tell them he listens well and goes to bed on time. I don't hit my kid, just like my mom never hit me. I just parent.
